International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

Council members in England have decided to put an end to streets with "aesthetically unsuitable" names. So if you want to take a picture next to Hoare Road or Butt Lane, get to it because the opportunity to do so won't be around much longer.

One might wonder how streets end up with names like Knob Lane and Balls Street, but the answer is really quite simple: the British are perverts. What other country values prudery as much as England? Can you really trust people who put skirts on their tables to ward off impure thoughts that might arise at the very sight of its legs? Come to think of it, those metal poles that hold the street signs are a bit phallic, perhaps skirts should obscure those, too. In fact, the word "pole" is "aesthetically unsuitable," so please address that as well.

This whole renaming process sounds a bit costly, what with having to replace all the old signs with the newly-printed ones, so why don't you council members do everyone a favor and leave Gropecunt Lane alone. Instead send that cash over to us and start those reparations payments already.

England Finally Realizes "Cockshut Lane" Might Not Be The Best Name For A Street

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!