Perplexed as to how anyone in their right (or inebriated) mind would willingly sleep with an English woman, a team of researchers from Leicester University set out to study the effect of drunkenness on attraction.
You've probably heard someone claim that they'd only sleep with a certain person after a few drinks. Well, it turns out that they'd just be fooling themselves. The study, which tested 240 men and women, found that alcohol not only doesn't make men find women more attractive, but it actually has the opposite effect.
Basically, what this study found is that if you're in England, you'll walk into a bar and you'll spot a girl who looks like this. After a few pints, she'll look like this. Finally, by the time you go home with her, she'll look like this.
That is all sorts of frightening, which is why we advise you never to visit that grotesque country. If you are obliged to go, however, stay in your hotel as much as possible and stay clear of the pub. (Also, bring your own food if you can.)