International Coalition for British Reparations: People of the World, it's Time to get Paid.

A nurse at Luton and Dunstable Hospital in Bedfordshire nearly killed a premature baby after she fed him a bottle filled with Comfort fabric softener. Doctors realized something was horribly wrong with Baby Hunter when started foaming at the mouth and vomiting. Comfort contains surfactants, a chemical known to be fatal to humans.

You might be wondering what fabric softener was doing in a baby bottle at a Special Care Baby Unit in the first place. That honor belongs to the baby's mother. Wanting her child to enjoy the comforts of soft sheets, she went home and poured some softener in the bottle to give to the hospital. Britons, who for centuries have "employed" (read: forced) foreigners to care for their offspring, lost all maternal instincts long ago. That's why this mother poured the deadly liquid into her baby's bottle without a second thought.

The hospital is not apologizing for the incident. "It was stupid of the parent to bring in fabric softener in a baby’s bottle to give to nurses," said a source at the baby unit. (That the nurse failed to notice the pearly tint and strong scent of the softener was not addressed.)

Baby Hunter's mom now joins Chantelle Stedman on our list of contenders for the 2009 British Mum of the Year.

Brits Don't Know Difference Between Fabric Softener And Milk, Premature Baby Almost Dies

YES, I WOULD LIKE TO SIGN THE PETITION AND GET PAID!